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Week 4 closes Dec 3rd!

Friday, October 9, 2015

Ottawa Tool Library Debuts New Mascot: Gary the Library Tool


The Ottawa Tool Library, a nonprofit that allows residents to borrow a variety of equipment, unveiled their new mascot yesterday. What was once simply two crossed hammers is now an actual person: Terry the Tool.

“We are very excited to be working with Terry the Tool,” says Lauren Henley, Executive Director of the Ottawa Tool Library, “He’s energetic, enthusiastic, and will do a great job promoting our organization in the community”. Although Ms. Henley was very open to talking about the Tool Library, she seemed reluctant to elaborate on the origins of Terry the Tool, his qualifications, or how he came to get the position. Terry, however, was much more forthcoming.

“Lauren’s my big sis. Mom made her give me this job.” says Terry the Tool, “I never had a job before, so this is cool. Well, I delivered newspapers for a week, but they got mad when I delivered the paper to the same house a hundred times. Now I get to hold a hammer. No power tools, Mom says, so just a hammer for now. You should come to the Oshawa Tooth Library, I’ll get you a hammer”.

Thursday, October 8, 2015

#73 - Fred Stonehouse (OAMA)

This week on Ottawhat, we sat down with Rockland Academy of Martial Arts manager and MMA fighter Fred Stonehouse. We learned what it's like starting out in martial arts, the fast-paced and incredibly tiring nature of MMA competitions, and we considered whether Ronald McDonald would beat Wendy (from Wendy's) in a fight.

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This episode is also brought to you in part by Audible.com. Visit audibletrial.com/ottawhat today and get a free audiobook and free 30-day trial, and feel good in helping support the show.

Links:
oama.ca
@fredstonehouse on Twitter

Wednesday, October 7, 2015

Calypso Waterpark Ravaged by Fire

Tragedy stuck Limoges last night as one of the town’s most historic landmarks was set ablaze: Calypso’s Summit Tower.

Police didn’t have to search too long for a suspect after reviewing the security tape, which clearly showed 29 year old Benjamin Stokes speeding off in an empty Shell tanker. After being apprehended, Stokes cited his motivation for setting the inferno as the line for AquaLoops being “too damn long”. Stokes reportedly stood in the line for the ride for 5 hours, only to have the park close as his turn finally arrived. He was denied the chance to drop from the infamous AquaLoops automated hatch.

When asked if he had any regrets about dousing the metal, plastic, and concrete structure with gasoline and then stoking the fire, Benjamin replied “I’d do it again”. Fire fighters managed to put out the blaze at the Summit Tower by turning on all of the rides.

Update: Revelations continue to emerge from the preliminary structural investigation of the toasted tower. Officials now say that the heat from the fire managed to strengthen the fiberglass for each of the Tower’s slides, improving the Tower’s overall safety rating from a sub-par 6/10 to an acceptable 8/10. Calypso plans on re-opening the scorched structure next summer under the pseudonym “Inferno Tower”. On an unrelated note, Calypso plans on increasing admission prices by 10 dollars.