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We will be recording a live episode of the podcast (with stand-up comedy and live music) on Thursday, April 21st at Frank and Oak Ottawa. Check out the details here, and we'll see you there!
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Week 4 closes Dec 3rd!

Thursday, December 31, 2015

#85 - Sandy Powell (Help At Home Association)

On the show this week, we met with Sandy Powell, from the Help At Home Association. HAHA is a charitable organization that is growing quickly, and rightfully so, because their goal is to help support families with children with severe illnesses like cancer.

Learn how you can get involved, and a little about how the project got started, as well as some of the interesting things you can do in the far north-west end of Ottawa.

Sponsor -
This episode is also brought to you in part by Audible.com. Visit audibletrial.com/ottawhat today and get a free audiobook and free 30-day trial, and feel good in helping support the show.

Links:
haha.world

Tuesday, December 29, 2015

Complete subway system discovered in forgotten Ottawa tunnels

As light-rail construction continues on the O-Train Confederation Line, construction workers have made a miraculous discovery.

Deep underground below the new LRT tunnels, is a complete, perfectly preserved subway system. A network of rails exist below the city, missing only functional locomotives to transport passengers. Technicians are unable to indicate at this time whether the locomotives and cars can be restored.

The subway was found by construction worker Gerry Picci, who was working near the future Lyon Station. “Me and the boys were getting some eating lunch when I thought I’d give the guys a good laugh. Laughing is good for you, y’know? I grabbed the jackhammer and did my best Wile E Coyote impression. I must have gone too far and the ground fell through.” Hours after the discovery, municipal workers were able to map out part of the system, which is believed to extend as far as Carp and Rockland.

Local public servant, Leigh-Anne Sprague, was astonished, “I just can’t believe it! I always heard there were secret underground tunnels, but why wouldn’t someone explore this before taking on this project?” Her grandmother, Glenda, blames former mayor Larry O’Brien, “He knew all along, he must have. I told my Harold that O’Brien was up to something when he cancelled the LRT plans!”

Mr. O’Brien could not be contacted for comment.

Friday, December 25, 2015

Santa visits PMO for the first time in a decade

As children awaken on Christmas morning, their spirits are buoyed by the thoughts of gifts, chocolate and joy to come. All across Canada, and around the world, good boys and girls are tearing open wrapped presents and celebrating the year that has been.

This year, for the first time in a decade, our nation’s highest office has received a visit from jolly old Saint Nick. Santa opted to pay a visit to the Prime Minister’s Office this year after a convincing victory by Justin Trudeau and the Liberal Party in the fall.

In light of the gender-balanced Cabinet, Canada’s strong participation in the recent climate change summit in Paris, and the un-muzzling of Canada’s scientists, the new PM certainly deserves something special from Santa’s Workshop.

When Stephen Harper first took the office back in 2006, Santa Claus dropped off a lump of coal, apparently after hearing about his plans for the years that were to come. However, Mr. Harper was reportedly overjoyed with what he perceived as a gift from Santa, being from Alberta and all. After that, the man in red decided he wouldn’t be stopping by 24 Sussex for a long while.

Now, Justin and the Trudeau family are currently staying down the street at Rideau Cottage until vital renovations are complete on 24 Sussex, but news that broke this morning will have him eager to return.

Ottawhat can now exclusively report that the living room at the Prime Minister’s permanent residence has been outfitted overnight with a new entertainment centre, complete with an HD projection screen, game consoles, and reclining seats. Mr. Trudeau is overjoyed with the upgrades, and he can’t wait to try it out once renovations on the rest of the house are complete.

In addition, though we cannot confirm at this time, reports coming out of the PMO also say that all traces of asbestos have somehow vanished from the building, which will considerably speed up remaining renovations.

Wednesday, December 23, 2015

#84 - Duncan McEachern

Duncan and the gang chat about textbook prices, play the Christmas game "What's in the Box?", and discuss outlandish theories about possible future Star Wars films.

BREW DONKEY CONTEST:
We're running a contest in partnership with Brew Donkey, and you can enter to win a free Brew Donkey brewery tour ticket. The question we're asking this week is:

Which local craft beer would you like to see on tap across Ottawa?

Entry details at ottawhatpodcast.com/brewdonkey!

Sponsor -
This episode is also brought to you in part by Audible.com. Visit audibletrial.com/ottawhat today and get a free audiobook and free 30-day trial, and feel good in helping support the show.

Links:
Nothing here!

Tuesday, December 22, 2015

Ottawa to remove all street parking spots downtown

Following the success of the segregated bike lanes on Laurier Avenue West and the recent consultations for the planned bike lanes on O’Connor Street, the City of Ottawa has announced their new goal: eliminate all street parking spots downtown.

In a statement released on Monday, city spokesperson Brittany Jones cited unhappy drivers as the primary motivation behind the move, stating “We looked at the amount of money we spent trying to coddle drivers by creating bike lanes; taxpayers would be astonished.” The initiative is said to be a proactive approach for future projects, “It’s easier to get rid of all parking spots in anticipation for future bike lanes,” continued Gordon, “let’s face it, these bikers aren’t going anywhere and we’re not about to hold a public forum every time we have to act on yet another one of their complaints.”

The Street Parking Reduction Plan is expected to begin in the ByWard Market in June 2016, expanding shortly thereafter to Downtown, Centretown, and the Golden Triangle. City officials confirmed an expected increase in revenue from parking tickets, but clarified that this is “not at all related to the municipality’s $41,000,000 deficit for 2015, but the amount of money we’ll get out of reduced consultation expenses and additional parking tickets will certainly help.”

In attempt to further reduce consultation time and costs, future community forums will be held exclusively in areas where parking is not available within a two kilometre radius.

Friday, December 18, 2015

Artisan insurance agency opens in Hintonburg

Ottawa’s trendiest neighbourhood just got a little more hip. Last week a small insurance agency opened up that specializes in rather peculiar kinds of coverage.

“The world is constantly changing,” says Tzipi Rockwell, founder of Artisan Insurance Agency. “We aim to protect people who lead alternative lifestyles; the types of people who push boundaries and live life to the fullest. For years these trendsetters have operated without insurance, but today they can rest easy knowing that they are safe.”

While Ms. Rockwell was vague about what her agency covers, their website lists the following types of coverage:
  • Unforeseen damages to facial hair 
  • Fixed gear bike repair
  • Craft beer hops protection
  • Longboard collision coverage
  • Earlobe reconstruction
  • Ironic tattoo copyright

Thursday, December 17, 2015

#83 - Joe Stouffclair

Joe Stouffclair sat down with us this week, to discuss some of the antics going on when he supply teaches, he discusses his experience growing up with 8 siblings, and he even sings us his hit song about OC Transpo, Articulated Dreams (starts at 20:39).

BREW DONKEY CONTEST:
We're running a contest in partnership with Brew Donkey, and you can enter to win a free Brew Donkey brewery tour ticket. The question we're asking this week is:

Which local craft beer would you like to see on tap across Ottawa?

Entry details at ottawhatpodcast.com/brewdonkey!

Sponsor -
This episode is also brought to you in part by Audible.com. Visit audibletrial.com/ottawhat today and get a free audiobook and free 30-day trial, and feel good in helping support the show.

Links:
https://soundcloud.com/joestouffclair
https://joestouffersinclair.carbonmade.com

Tuesday, December 15, 2015

Refugees agree with Saskatchewan's Premier

Recently-landed Syrian refugees are thankful for comments made by the Saskatchewan Premier.

In late November, Premier Brad Wall urged the federal government to suspend its plan to bring 25,000 Syrian refugees to Canada by year-end, citing safety and security concerns. Syrian refugees claim to have no issues with Premier Wall’s stance, stating that Saskatchewan is not a suitable destination for refugees...or anyone, for that matter.

“I just fled a desolate wasteland, I’m not looking to relocate to another one,” explained Adnan Ali, who is moving his family of four to Ottawa’s east end. “I’m tired of unlicensed guns, terrible football teams, and being unable to grow anything for my family.”

Many seem to agree with Mr. Ali, hoping to make the best of this new chapter. Ottawans have risen to the occasion, supporting local shelters and family centres to help facilitate refugee settlement in Canada’s capital city.

“I feel blessed to see so much support from the community,” continued Ali, “I’m particularly excited to experience Canadian culture in Ottawa. I already have my RedBlacks jersey. Can you imagine if I had to cheer for the Roughriders? That would have been terrible.”

Friday, December 11, 2015

Redblacks Unwind in Offseason in Unusual Ways

The Ottawa Redblacks have begun to enjoy a well-deserved break after staging a dramatic comeback which culminated in them competing for the Grey Cup. While the pro-athletes obviously engage in strength and conditioning training during the off season, there are only so many push-ups one can do in a day. Ottawhat News sat down with a few of the Redblacks and asked them what they like to do between seasons.

Some players recharge their batteries by staying in. “I use this time to catch up on TV” says tight end Troy Banner “Right now I am burning through Little Mosque on the Prairie.”

“I am a huge audiophile. I could listen to vinyl for days. Specifically, I like Joni Mitchell and Dolly Parton,” raves running back Frank Giuseppe.

Other players can’t sit still, deciding instead to keep working. “I started selling Cutco knives last year. It’s hard work, but going door to door is pretty fun when people recognize you. It certainly doesn’t hurt my sales,” says offensive lineman Patrice Dosslre.

“Football’s my job, but improv is my passion,” says linebacker Nathan Holmes, “When the season is done, I hook up with my troupe and we do long form 5 nights a week.”

Finally, a few of the Redblacks enjoy fairly successful athletic careers in the off-season. Wide receiver Marcus Bailey plays on a semi-professional polo team in Latvia, and kicker Max Ocupace is ranked 148th in the world of darts. Whatever they do, let’s hope they come back refreshed for next season.

Thursday, December 10, 2015

#82 - Monica Haberl

We talked to Monica Haberl this week. This friend of the show talked with us about gender equality, about her experiences growing up in Ottawa, and a little about hockey.

BREW DONKEY CONTEST:
We're running a contest in partnership with Brew Donkey, and you can enter to win a free Brew Donkey brewery tour ticket. The question we're asking this week is:

Which local craft beer would you like to see on tap across Ottawa?

Entry details at ottawhatpodcast.com/brewdonkey!

Sponsor -
This episode is also brought to you in part by Audible.com. Visit audibletrial.com/ottawhat today and get a free audiobook and free 30-day trial, and feel good in helping support the show.

Links:
Not this time!

Tuesday, December 8, 2015

Hero Cat Dials 311

When Maya Boyanska took an impromptu trip to the Ottawa Humane Society a few months ago, she had no idea that she would be making a decision that would change her life forever. That day, she decided to adopt Smudge, a Manx cat with seemingly endless amounts of energy.

“Smudge loves to explore. When I first brought her home, she spent days looking around the house and peering out all the windows. After a week, I noticed that her favourite spot to look at was the garbage bins in my backyard. She would sit at the back window and meow in that direction for hours.”

Two weeks ago, Maya received a Green Bin voucher in the mail, addressed to “Mrs. Meow”. The young woman was surprised, as she had not contacted the city for one. “I checked my landline, and a call to 311 was made while I was at work! I never really thought about using a Green Bin before, but when I got the voucher, I decided I may as well try it out” she explains.

Maya has had her new Green Bin for a week, and is enjoying it. “I can’t believe how little garbage I produce now, it’s awesome. I love how they come every week! I am so thankful to have a cat that cares so much about me and the environment. Smudge is a special animal...how many cats do you know that have the intelligence to dial a phone and the patience to sit on hold with 311?”

Friday, December 4, 2015

Ottawa to Host 2020 Bureaucrat Olympics

Last week, the International Bureaucrat Olympic Committee (IBOC) announced the successful bids for the 2016, 2020, and 2024 Bureaucrat Olympic games. While Berlin will host the event in 2016, and Nairobi in 2024, Ottawa has secured the honour of putting on the games in 2020.

“It’s a big day for us, obviously. We are elated. Ottawa has always had a strong bureaucratic scene, and now we have a chance to show the world,” said Danielle Doherty, President of the Ottawa Bureaucrat Olympic Committee,  “We’ve been working on bringing the Games to Ottawa for six years, and now that we have done it, the real work begins. There is so much to do to prepare for 2020”.

The Bureaucrat Olympics is a 15 day event that highlights elite pencil pushers from around the world. Competitors enter events such as File-Sorting, the Rolling Chair Relay, and Buzzwording. The games will bring upwards of 200 athletes to the city, and likely many more spectators.

Allan Nyguen, who works as a Human Resources Officer for Health Canada, has already been named the captain of Team Canada. “It’s an honour,” says Nyguen, “Everyone on the team is a superstar, so it’s pretty wild that I was chosen. My event is Conflict Resolution, and I can’t wait to get to it. Go Canada!”

Thursday, December 3, 2015

#81 - Natalie Poirier

Natalie Poirier was on the show this week! She talked with us about the 6-week solo hike across Ontario, dubbed The Brain Venture, that she completed this summer, to raise money for Angioma Alliance Canada. We also discussed what it's like growing up in Carp, and going to rugby nationals while studying at Queens.

BREW DONKEY CONTEST:
We're running a contest in partnership with Brew Donkey, and you can enter to win a free Brew Donkey brewery tour ticket. The question we're asking this week is:

Which local craft beer would you like to see on tap across Ottawa?

Entry details at ottawhatpodcast.com/brewdonkey!

Sponsor -
This episode is also brought to you in part by Audible.com. Visit audibletrial.com/ottawhat today and get a free audiobook and free 30-day trial, and feel good in helping support the show.

Links:
facebook.com/thebrainventure

Tuesday, December 1, 2015

City Council Votes to Sell Vanier to Hull

Ottawa City Council met last week to formulate a budget for 2016. The city is facing a record-setting deficit, and has been investigating creative ways to bolster municipal earnings. Some Councillors argued that cutting arts programming could save money, but since no one dared propose a tax increase, the Council ultimately decided on a dramatic move: selling Vanier to Hull for 22 million dollars.

“The City of Ottawa is growing. When a population rises, so do costs.” said Gregory Scott, Councillor for Nepean, “The decision to sell Vanier solves a lot of problems for us. The money from the sale will pay off Ottawa’s debts, giving us a fresh start for the new fiscal year. Additionally, a slightly smaller Ottawa means less roads to plough and less potholes to fix. Finally, our significant police forces that have been allocated for Vanier will be distributed elsewhere, making the city safer for everyone.”

The sale came as a surprise to residents, as something of this nature has never been done before. One has to wonder what those who live in Vanier think of the decision, but we were unable to obtain a statement from anyone, as none of our staff wanted to go there.