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with Keegan, Amaan, Rob & friends
Wednesday, March 29, 2017
#122 - Marc Evans
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Wednesday, March 15, 2017
#121 - James Fitzgerald (Tespa Carleton)
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Wednesday, March 1, 2017
#120 - Brian Kom
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Wednesday, February 1, 2017
#119b - Cait O'Malley (Live from Backdrop)
Find out how she would plan Amaan's dream wedding, and see if you can hear her East Coast accent coming out.
Special thanks to Poppa Bean Coffee and Backdrop Restaurant for the awesome coffee and for hosting the live show!
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#119a - Tavis Maplesden (Live from Backdrop)
Special thanks to Poppa Bean Coffee and Backdrop Restaurant for the awesome coffee and for hosting the live show!
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Wednesday, January 18, 2017
#118 - Amanda McLaren
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Tuesday, January 17, 2017
Trump Representatives Disappointed with Lack of Walls in Eastern Ontario
By: Eric Turmelle
As the President-Elect prepares to take office, he has taken the first step in delivering on his campaign promise of constructing a 40 foot tall, 1,000 mile long precast concrete Mexican border wall. Trump has created a task force to determine what this wall would cost the American taxpayer. After performing some preliminary calculations, it became evident that there was no way this concrete structure could be built for under 21 billion dollars, more than double the amount the Donald had predicted during his campaign.
The task force, primarily comprised of material science deniers, set forth to find more cost effective materials that could potentially be used for the wall construction. They left no stone unturned: they looked at “stone, clay, and many others,” they assured Ottawhat? News. Some members of the task force even travelled to Berlin to confirm the infeasibility of that wall. It was noted, however, that they did not travel to China. The President-Elect was adamant that he did not want a solution “made in CHIIIINA.” With the need to think outside the box, combined with warnings not to look overseas for any further help or ideas, researchers stumbled upon a google search hinting that there may a novel solution being implemented just hours north of the border, and a mere hour away from Ottawa.
The group undertook two weeks’ worth of research, and a very expensive trip to Eastern Ontario. When all was said and done, the task force was very disappointed to find out there was in fact no wall made of corn in Cornwall. A pilot project to test the idea of a corn wall could be arranged, however, this would take months, and the future president wanted to begin construction on the wall immediately after his inauguration. News of the task force’s failures were leaked to the satire news media this morning.
Trump, who received criticism from both Republicans and Democrats for rising costs of the wall task force took to twitter last night: “Those Snow Mexicans think they’re so smart with their deliberately misleading town names. Let me tell you something, I don’t think it’s funny. They think breaking NAFTA is going to be a big deal. Wait until they see what I got in store for them! The “corn wall” may be a reality soon enough. I’m thinking we may need one North of the border after all, and I got news for them, they’re going to pay for it!”
While the future of Trump’s “corn wall” remains uncertain, one thing is crystal clear: Cornwall is a disappointing place for anyone to visit.
The task force, primarily comprised of material science deniers, set forth to find more cost effective materials that could potentially be used for the wall construction. They left no stone unturned: they looked at “stone, clay, and many others,” they assured Ottawhat? News. Some members of the task force even travelled to Berlin to confirm the infeasibility of that wall. It was noted, however, that they did not travel to China. The President-Elect was adamant that he did not want a solution “made in CHIIIINA.” With the need to think outside the box, combined with warnings not to look overseas for any further help or ideas, researchers stumbled upon a google search hinting that there may a novel solution being implemented just hours north of the border, and a mere hour away from Ottawa.
The group undertook two weeks’ worth of research, and a very expensive trip to Eastern Ontario. When all was said and done, the task force was very disappointed to find out there was in fact no wall made of corn in Cornwall. A pilot project to test the idea of a corn wall could be arranged, however, this would take months, and the future president wanted to begin construction on the wall immediately after his inauguration. News of the task force’s failures were leaked to the satire news media this morning.
Trump, who received criticism from both Republicans and Democrats for rising costs of the wall task force took to twitter last night: “Those Snow Mexicans think they’re so smart with their deliberately misleading town names. Let me tell you something, I don’t think it’s funny. They think breaking NAFTA is going to be a big deal. Wait until they see what I got in store for them! The “corn wall” may be a reality soon enough. I’m thinking we may need one North of the border after all, and I got news for them, they’re going to pay for it!”
While the future of Trump’s “corn wall” remains uncertain, one thing is crystal clear: Cornwall is a disappointing place for anyone to visit.
Wednesday, January 4, 2017
#117 - Unlocked Ottawa (Candice Gertsman & Calvin Joy)
Hear how the founders grew up together in Kanata, split up after high school, then got back together to start this fun venture. You'll also hear more about how the far west end isn't necessarily as boring as it used to be, in case you were thinking that.
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Wednesday, December 21, 2016
#116 - Lynn Kirkpatrick (Dodgeball Ottawa)
Learn about competitive dodgeball as it's played around the world and in Ottawa, and hear how Lynn's team came home with a silver medal from this year's world championships.
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Saturday, December 17, 2016
Facebook Turns to China for Guidance on Fake News Censorship
By: Eric Turmelle
Early this afternoon, Facebook announced details regarding their plan to tackle the fake news problems that have recently surfaced. Some credit Fake News as one of the major contributing factors to Donald Trump’s victory in the U.S. election. During the last few weeks of the campaign, stories such as “Pope Francis Shocks World, Endorses Donald Trump for President” and “FBI Agent Suspected in Hillary Email Leaks Found Dead of Apparent Murder-Suicide” spread like wildfire through social media. The aforementioned stories were not only completely false, but the “source” of the content, the “Denver Guardian” is not even a legitimate news outlet.
Facebook plans to develop an algorithm that will automatically detect Fake News, and remove it from the site before it is even posted. Users will be warned a few times, and then eventually banned from the site if too many repeat offences are detected. Facebook confirmed that it will be partnering up with the Chinese government to develop these algorithms.
“When it comes to content management [censorship], China is light-years ahead of us,” said Facebook president Mark Zuckerberg in a press conference just a few hours ago, “Without their assistance, it would take many years to develop the content control algorithms we are looking for. With their assistance, this will take a mere few months.”
He continued “When users see content posted on Facebook, I want them to be confident it’s the truth. Users should not be expected to verify sources using other sites. Facebook should be the only source of content our users need, and with the help of the Chinese, we can make this a reality.”
While the future of internet censorship in North America is still uncertain, large sites such as Facebook will likely have an influence on others. While it is important to verify sources, censorship should be used with caution, as --CONTENT REDACTED--
Wednesday, December 7, 2016
#115 - Scott Sewell
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Wednesday, November 23, 2016
#114 - Clodie Gravel
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Monday, November 14, 2016
Baptist Church in Westboro Seeks to Change Name
By: Keegan On
Reverend John Raymond has started his day the same way every day for the past 11 years: by dumping the church's mail into the garbage. For over a decade, his church has struggled to distance themselves from a similarly named organization based out of Florida. The American ‘Westboro Baptist Church’ is a religious organization known for their hate speech and severely conservative views on just about everything.
“We receive hundreds of letters and emails a month, mostly horrifying” explains Rev. Raymond. “I’m not sure what’s more disturbing, the messages of outrage sent for that other church or the ones of praise.”
The Ottawa church has been attempting a rebrand since October 2015, but has been unable to come up with a satisfactory name nearly one year later. Past nominees include “Our Holy Baptizer of Westboro” and “Richmond Road Baptist Church”. The organization is accepting pitches for their new name, which can be submitted through their humble website, www.godhatesbrags.com.
Reverend John Raymond has started his day the same way every day for the past 11 years: by dumping the church's mail into the garbage. For over a decade, his church has struggled to distance themselves from a similarly named organization based out of Florida. The American ‘Westboro Baptist Church’ is a religious organization known for their hate speech and severely conservative views on just about everything.
“We receive hundreds of letters and emails a month, mostly horrifying” explains Rev. Raymond. “I’m not sure what’s more disturbing, the messages of outrage sent for that other church or the ones of praise.”
The Ottawa church has been attempting a rebrand since October 2015, but has been unable to come up with a satisfactory name nearly one year later. Past nominees include “Our Holy Baptizer of Westboro” and “Richmond Road Baptist Church”. The organization is accepting pitches for their new name, which can be submitted through their humble website, www.godhatesbrags.com.
Wednesday, November 9, 2016
#113 - Rhapsody Blue
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Monday, October 31, 2016
A Game of Garlic: Ottawa Shawarma Royalty Power Struggle Escalates
By: Keegan On
Tensions between Ottawa shawarma royalty rose again this week after Shawarma Prince fell victim to yet another drive-by turnipping. This marks the 7th attack on the heir to the shawarma throne this year. In January, 3 Brothers Shawarma changed the meat cone rotating speeds at Shawarma Prince, causing hours of delays. Last month, Mr. Shawarma was caught attempting to steal a secret hummus recipe from the would-be king.
A proclamation from the Shawarma Palace was decreed yesterday, calling for a ceasefire between all restaurants. The Shawarma King himself announced that as his eldest son, “Shawarma Prince will take the throne when it is time.” He also reiterated that any rumours about the illegitimacy of his children are false.
Unfortunately, these claims have been hotly contested by Queen Shawarma, who now resides in Castle Shawarma with New Shawarma King Plus. She insists that Shawarma Prince is not the biological son of Shawarma King, and that the true successor to the throne is Shawarma Prince Gourmet. The Castle Shawarma clan has been garnering support over the last few months, and experts say that Ottawa may be posed for an all out shawarma war.
A proclamation from the Shawarma Palace was decreed yesterday, calling for a ceasefire between all restaurants. The Shawarma King himself announced that as his eldest son, “Shawarma Prince will take the throne when it is time.” He also reiterated that any rumours about the illegitimacy of his children are false.
Unfortunately, these claims have been hotly contested by Queen Shawarma, who now resides in Castle Shawarma with New Shawarma King Plus. She insists that Shawarma Prince is not the biological son of Shawarma King, and that the true successor to the throne is Shawarma Prince Gourmet. The Castle Shawarma clan has been garnering support over the last few months, and experts say that Ottawa may be posed for an all out shawarma war.
Wednesday, October 26, 2016
#112 - Calvin McCormick
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Wednesday, October 12, 2016
#111 - Matt Haché (OAMA)
Check out Ground Games - Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu on October 21 at Tudor Hall
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Tuesday, October 11, 2016
New Sinkhole Divides Local Sinkhole Cult
By: Mike Holuj
Sunday, October 2nd was a big day in history for Ottawa’s sinkhole-worshipping cult, The Hole Family. Ottawa’s second sinkhole of the year has created a divide within the organization. One side, called The Hole Family (THF), is for the elongation of the construction season, praying to the powers that control it for any interruption and extension. The other side, the Sinkhole’s Justified Witnesses (SJW) only worship sinkholes. Earl Vickers, the leader of the newly formed Sinkhole’s Witness, explains the reasons behind the schism:
“I was at the sinkhole. I saw it happen. I was the one who caused it, but don't tell anyone that,” says Vickers. “I took it as a sign that we have a lot more control in the affairs of the construction season. I realized that every sinkhole is sacred and no matter how big or small, they all should be praised. If this sinkhole didn’t happen, my season would be ending. Now, I’ll be here for another month at least.” The shift in the new faction’s belief created a stir, says Vickers, “The whole experience caused me to rethink how we did things back in THF. I spoke to Burt, the leader, about it but he didn’t agree with me. He thought I didn’t respect the natural order of things.”
“I told him he didn’t respect the natural order of things,” says Burt Washington, leader of The Hole Family. “They worship the sinkholes. We worship the forces behind construction season. We have a much wider range of praises because anything could extend the season. A big storm, a special project, another LRT stop, and naturally a sinkhole. Those Sinkhole Witnesses are a dark mark on the history of The Hole Family.”
When asked about how the formation of a second construction worker’s cult would impact the construction industry, Jim Watson’s office answered “What, is this like a union thing?”
“I was at the sinkhole. I saw it happen. I was the one who caused it, but don't tell anyone that,” says Vickers. “I took it as a sign that we have a lot more control in the affairs of the construction season. I realized that every sinkhole is sacred and no matter how big or small, they all should be praised. If this sinkhole didn’t happen, my season would be ending. Now, I’ll be here for another month at least.” The shift in the new faction’s belief created a stir, says Vickers, “The whole experience caused me to rethink how we did things back in THF. I spoke to Burt, the leader, about it but he didn’t agree with me. He thought I didn’t respect the natural order of things.”
“I told him he didn’t respect the natural order of things,” says Burt Washington, leader of The Hole Family. “They worship the sinkholes. We worship the forces behind construction season. We have a much wider range of praises because anything could extend the season. A big storm, a special project, another LRT stop, and naturally a sinkhole. Those Sinkhole Witnesses are a dark mark on the history of The Hole Family.”
When asked about how the formation of a second construction worker’s cult would impact the construction industry, Jim Watson’s office answered “What, is this like a union thing?”
Tuesday, October 4, 2016
Photo Radar Almost as Unpopular as OC Transpo: Survey
By: Keegan On
“It’s incredible” says Maggie Petra, Head Researcher at Whatyouth Inc., “In the Ottawa region, OC Transpo has always acted as a steady constant for our studies. The scale for virtually every study we conduct goes from the near universal dislike for Ottawa public transit, all the way to the revered Bluesfest. Few events, projects, or issues, have received as low of a score as the photo radar motion has.”
The near record-low rating came as a shock to some, surpassing reviled topics such as the Monument to the Victims of Communism, the Mike Duffy Trial, and the Toronto Maple Leafs.
“Clearly we have underestimated the intense dislike for the project in its current state” said City Council member Rich Carrally, “In light of this rating, I am going to propose that we take another look at this legislation and find a more popular solution. City Council is committed to getting this done as fast as possible...well, not too fast...as fast as legally acceptable”.
Next week, we will have the results of a new public opinion survey in light of the city approving 20 new red light cameras in Ottawa.
Wednesday, September 28, 2016
#110 - Colin White
Here's a piece Colin did of Boushey's, which closed after 70 years in business this summer! See more of Colin's work at colinwhite.ca.
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