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We will be recording a live episode of the podcast (with stand-up comedy and live music) on Thursday, April 21st at Frank and Oak Ottawa. Check out the details here, and we'll see you there!
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Week 4 closes Dec 3rd!

Tuesday, December 29, 2015

Complete subway system discovered in forgotten Ottawa tunnels

As light-rail construction continues on the O-Train Confederation Line, construction workers have made a miraculous discovery.

Deep underground below the new LRT tunnels, is a complete, perfectly preserved subway system. A network of rails exist below the city, missing only functional locomotives to transport passengers. Technicians are unable to indicate at this time whether the locomotives and cars can be restored.

The subway was found by construction worker Gerry Picci, who was working near the future Lyon Station. “Me and the boys were getting some eating lunch when I thought I’d give the guys a good laugh. Laughing is good for you, y’know? I grabbed the jackhammer and did my best Wile E Coyote impression. I must have gone too far and the ground fell through.” Hours after the discovery, municipal workers were able to map out part of the system, which is believed to extend as far as Carp and Rockland.

Local public servant, Leigh-Anne Sprague, was astonished, “I just can’t believe it! I always heard there were secret underground tunnels, but why wouldn’t someone explore this before taking on this project?” Her grandmother, Glenda, blames former mayor Larry O’Brien, “He knew all along, he must have. I told my Harold that O’Brien was up to something when he cancelled the LRT plans!”

Mr. O’Brien could not be contacted for comment.

Friday, December 25, 2015

Santa visits PMO for the first time in a decade

As children awaken on Christmas morning, their spirits are buoyed by the thoughts of gifts, chocolate and joy to come. All across Canada, and around the world, good boys and girls are tearing open wrapped presents and celebrating the year that has been.

This year, for the first time in a decade, our nation’s highest office has received a visit from jolly old Saint Nick. Santa opted to pay a visit to the Prime Minister’s Office this year after a convincing victory by Justin Trudeau and the Liberal Party in the fall.

In light of the gender-balanced Cabinet, Canada’s strong participation in the recent climate change summit in Paris, and the un-muzzling of Canada’s scientists, the new PM certainly deserves something special from Santa’s Workshop.

When Stephen Harper first took the office back in 2006, Santa Claus dropped off a lump of coal, apparently after hearing about his plans for the years that were to come. However, Mr. Harper was reportedly overjoyed with what he perceived as a gift from Santa, being from Alberta and all. After that, the man in red decided he wouldn’t be stopping by 24 Sussex for a long while.

Now, Justin and the Trudeau family are currently staying down the street at Rideau Cottage until vital renovations are complete on 24 Sussex, but news that broke this morning will have him eager to return.

Ottawhat can now exclusively report that the living room at the Prime Minister’s permanent residence has been outfitted overnight with a new entertainment centre, complete with an HD projection screen, game consoles, and reclining seats. Mr. Trudeau is overjoyed with the upgrades, and he can’t wait to try it out once renovations on the rest of the house are complete.

In addition, though we cannot confirm at this time, reports coming out of the PMO also say that all traces of asbestos have somehow vanished from the building, which will considerably speed up remaining renovations.

Wednesday, December 23, 2015

#84 - Duncan McEachern

Duncan and the gang chat about textbook prices, play the Christmas game "What's in the Box?", and discuss outlandish theories about possible future Star Wars films.

BREW DONKEY CONTEST:
We're running a contest in partnership with Brew Donkey, and you can enter to win a free Brew Donkey brewery tour ticket. The question we're asking this week is:

Which local craft beer would you like to see on tap across Ottawa?

Entry details at ottawhatpodcast.com/brewdonkey!

Sponsor -
This episode is also brought to you in part by Audible.com. Visit audibletrial.com/ottawhat today and get a free audiobook and free 30-day trial, and feel good in helping support the show.

Links:
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