Trudeau Pledges to Update Peace Tower Clock to Digital

By: Keegan On

“Because it’s 2015.” Prime Minister Trudeau’s response to a question about why he had so many female cabinet ministers resonated with Canadians. These three words encapsulate the tone that the Liberal Government is working hard to set, one of “real change”. Among these changes are aggressively progressive promises such as electoral reform and legalizing marijuana, and this morning Mr. Trudeau added another to his list.

“Canadians are tired of business as usual. We are coming into a golden age of enlightened thinking, of openness, and diversity. Our lives are becoming busier and moving faster. It is time that our parliament reflect these changes. That is why my government has committed to spending six million dollars to update the Peace Tower clock from analog to digital. No longer will Canadians be forced to figure out what time it is on the Hill. Gone will be the days of trying to figure out which is the long hand, and wondering if there is a second hand on the clock. The digitization of the Peace Tower clock will ensure that Canadians across the country will be able to quickly and effectively tell the time.”

While public opinion about the announcement was positive, experts have questions about how the plan will be implemented. The Liberals have not released details on the renovations, but have stated that they will involve hard work, dozens of new jobs, and a “significant amount of horse urine”.

#79 - Mayor Jim Watson

It's a huge week for Ottawhat; we sat down with our Mayor, Jim Watson! We discussed his history in the public service, some of what life is like in his world, and a few of the things Ottawa is facing over the next couple of years. His Worship also trolled us hard about waiting so long to have him on the show.

CONTEST ANNOUNCEMENT (Week 3):
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Links:
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Popeye's is 'World's Best Chicken', uOttawa Study Finds

By: Rob Attrell

Fried chicken is beloved by nearly everyone, but it’s not all created equal. While some prefer the 11 herbs and spices of KFC, others prefer the simpler flavour palate of the humble McNugget. Since the opening of the new Popeye’s restaurant in Gloucester, the debate over which chicken is the best has reached a fever pitch in Ottawa.

In a groundbreaking study from the University of Ottawa undertaken this fall, it has been demonstrably proven that given all the options around the city, and in the world, Popeye’s was ultimately ranked as the best fried chicken. Using metrics such as taste, aroma, umami, addictiveness, and many others to come to its conclusions, this study will hopefully put the fierce debate to bed.

The study was conducted by emeritus professor Davis Sweepes of the University of Ottawa, and consisted of visits to every fried chicken establishment in the city. Dr. Sweepes sampled each restaurant’s offering in his office in total isolation, including the new Popeye’s, before coming to the study’s conclusions.

“I couldn’t be happier with the results of this study,” Davis said upon submitting his research to Science, adding, “I’m just glad the University had money to fund this vital research. I see myself as a pioneer in the food science world.” Representatives from Union Local 613 will reportedly be filing a follow-up paper refuting Dr. Sweepes claims.